A Parents’ Guide to Supporting Family Online Safety

It’s back-to-school season. This annual ritual is all about preparations: winding down the summer, shoring up schedules and after-school care, and readying classroom supplies. Pencils and paper are still a must — and today, so are smartphones, tablets, and computers.

In the digital age of social media, internet pornography, and AI, back-to-school looks a little different. Here, we offer tips on how to connect with the young people in your life to ensure their online safety and to promote digital wellness this school year and beyond.

Setting Online Boundaries for Your Family

Spending time online is a significant part of kids’ lives today. Daily screen time for tweens averages around 5 and a half hours, and it’s even higher for teens. Knowing how to talk with your kids about online safety is an essential parenting skill, yet few schools offer guidance on how to do this.

Age-inappropriate games, social media, apps, videos, and websites expose children to online abuse, cyberbullying, predators, and disturbing content beyond their social and emotional maturity. Think of online safety rules like wearing a seatbelt or washing your hands: simple steps that help keep kids protected.

Invite your child to help create rules about what they can do online, how often, and with whom. A collaborative approach gives kids a sense of ownership and a stake in the outcome. And make time to join them online. Understanding what your kids do online is just as important as knowing what they do offline.

Consider creating a family tech agreement that outlines your rules, expectations, and consequences for the games, platforms, and websites your children use. Download our free, customizable Family Technology & Social Media Contract to get started.

Note: App age recommendations are set by developers, not by scientific standards or government oversight. In the U.S., federal law generally prohibits online platforms from collecting personal information from children under 13 without verifiable parental consent, which is why many services set a minimum age of 13.

Putting Digital Safety Boundaries Into Practice

Here are a few specific actions parents and caregivers can take to ensure kids’ online safety:

Privacy & Online Safety

• Monitor texts, gaming chats, posts, internet history, etc., based on your child’s age and your confidence in their online safety.
• Update privacy settings, apps, programs, and anti-virus software on all devices. For younger kids, consider installing parental controls.
• Talk to kids about never sharing personal information online, including their name, school, address, town, age, and passwords.
• Teach them how to navigate online communications and recognize that people who seem friendly online might not really be who they say they are.
• Create a space where your kids know they can come to you if someone online asks for photos, offers gifts, wants to keep a chat secret, or otherwise makes them uncomfortable.
• Talk to teens about sextortion and what to do if someone threatens to share intimate images or videos.

Digital Citizenship & Critical Thinking

• Teach your child about good digital citizenship, emphasizing kindness, courtesy, and respect.
• Teach “pause before you post” or “take care before you share.”
• Remind them that the internet is forever and that images, videos, posts, and comments can have an online life of their own.
• Talk to your kids about cyberbullying and the importance of never encouraging, applauding, or engaging in it.
• Talk to kids about being critical thinkers and remind them that not everything they see online is real or true.
• Encourage your children to express themselves online, not what others want them to post.
• Discuss how they can resist the temptation to follow the crowd by critically thinking before reposting and liking what others post.

Healthy Online Habits

• Watch for signs that something is not right with your kids and their online behavior, such as hiding their screen, sudden withdrawal, appearing angry or distressed, trouble sleeping, or changes in school, socializing, or mood.
• Work with your kids to combine activities they enjoy offline with their online behavior.
• Encourage younger kids to use apps, websites, and programs that encourage creative and active play, movement, and outdoor activities.
• Schedule in time to unplug—for your children and you, too! Remember, your kids are watching you.

Open Communication

• Turn digital missteps into proactive next steps. It’s important not to yell, freak out, catastrophize, blame, or shame. The more your kid feels they can trust you and will not be judged, the more likely they are to open up in a conversation.
• Be the person your kids come to for online dilemmas, so you can talk with them about what happened, how they felt, and what they can learn from the event. Remember, it is not their mistake, but the lack of laws that protect them from online harms.
• Talk to your kids about online porn, and stay calm and comfortable when discussing porn and sexuality.
• Use resources like our free Parents Programs and conversation scripts to help navigate difficult conversations.
• Ultimately, be the person your kids can speak with about anything.

Download our free Family Technology & Social Media Contract to create shared expectations for healthy, safe technology use.