Socialization & Relationship Outcomes

Open Access: No.

Abstract

In Australia and many countries, pornography offers omnipresent, stimulating, easily accessible sexual content; it is an increasing contributor to social meaning-making in women’s sexual lives, including their relationships. Previous research tended to focus on adverse outcomes without considering how women might experience pornography’s interaction with intimacy and relationships. We therefore sought women’s perspectives through in-depth interviews about pornography conducted with 27 young self-identified women, who have or intended to have sex with men, living in Australia. Analysis of their accounts revealed that young women are perplexed by the interaction of pornography with relationships and attempt to make sense of what it means through discourses of intimacy, fidelity, and sexual freedom. Seven associated (often contradictory) systems of statements contributing to these discourses were identified: Pornography mediates intimacy; Men are the gatekeepers of intimacy; For intimacy, women need to objectify themselves to compete with pornography; Religions equate pornography with infidelity; Using pornography is relaxation and therefore not infidelity; Men have an inherent right to sexual fulfilment; and Sexual freedom is paramount. Women’s accounts prioritised the needs of men, relationships, and the ideal of sexual freedom; no discourse prioritised women’s needs. These insights can be used to understand the complex association between women’s sexual relationships and pornography and as a contribution to appropriate clinical support when it is requested.

Relevance

Among several findings about how young women view pornography were:

“Women identified emotional intimacy as the most valuable aspect of their relationships and constructed men as controlling intimacy by withholding or redirecting it… hen a partner demonstrated sexual desire for someone outside the relationship, it was perceived as withholding or disrupting intimacy. In this discourse, pornography is positioned as a vehicle for redirecting men’s sexual desire and as a tool available to men for exercising their power as gatekeepers to emotional intimacy. Women responded by attempting to establish boundaries around their partners’ use.”

“For intimacy, women need to objectify themselves to compete with pornography. It was apparent that women could feel the need to compete with pornography for their partner’s attention and did so through self-objectification. They focused on embodying attractiveness and sexual desirability, sometimes modelling themselves on what they saw in pornography.”

“Women reporting religious affiliation constructed their partner’s use of pornography as infidelity.”

“An important—and at times discernibly dominant—major statement was that men have an inherent right to sexual fulfilment. Women thus discursively positioned accepted the reality of an irresistible male sex drive. Inevitably, women’s desires and emotions are overwhelmed by the priority given to men’s sexual needs. Using pornography despite being in a committed sexual relationship, and regardless of the woman’s attitude to pornography, was here identified as an expression of men’s sexual rights.”

“We found that women’s accounts revealed discourses that prioritised the needs of men, the needs of the relationships, and the ideal of sexual freedom. It is notable that no discourses emerged that prioritised the needs of women.”

Citation

Ashton, S., McDonald, K., & Kirkman, M. (2020). Pornography and sexual relationships: Discursive challenges for young women. Feminism & Psychology, 30(4), 489–507. https://doi.org/10.1177/0959353520918164