Mental Health
Why did God let this Happen? Assessing the Spiritual Impacts of Sexual Addiction on Intimate Female Partners: A Qualitative Investigation.
Open Access: Yes.
Abstract
Recent years have seen a rise in research on sexual addiction (SA) and compulsive sexual behaviour (CSB). In the literature, these concepts describe an emerging field of study that may encompass a range of interpersonal and communal consequences for concerned individuals, their intimate partners, families, and society. Taboos surrounding SA/CSB often shroud the subject in shame and ignorance. Despite growing scholarly interest in SA/CSB, few studies have analysed intimate partners’ lived experiences in depth, and no other research has investigated the spiritual impacts of SA/CSB on intimate partners. This descriptive phenomenological study addresses this knowledge gap. In-depth semi-structured interviews were conducted with female partners (primary participants; n = 12) and professional counsellors (supplementary participants; n = 15). The analysis reveals that following discovery/disclosure, SA/CSB may affect women via complex and multifaceted spiritual consequences. Significantly, most women did not receive validation or safety from their faith communities. Instead, many reported experiencing a range of spiritual impacts, including changes in their faith, fear of stigmatization, the perception of pastoral pressure to ‘forgive and forget’, ostracism from their faith communities, and/or a sense of anger directed towards God as the perceived silent co-conspirator who permitted the deception to continue undiscovered, sometimes over years or even decades. The study’s findings point to salient opportunities for faith communities to provide more targeted support and assistance during healing and recovery.
Relevance
After discovering a partner’s concealed SA/CSB, which often included pornography use, “affected partners frequently experience a phenomenon known as betrayal trauma (BT), which is similar to attachment injury, mirrors the symptoms of post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD), and includes confusion, shock, hypervigilance, and a loss of the ability to perceive the world as safe.”
“Most of the female participants—including the atheists—expressed rage at God…Some women then went through a period of total spiritual alienation and detachment…Most women felt that they had been let down by their communities…This perception prevailed because most women had not received appropriate validation or support.”
“Furthermore, some felt pressured by their clergy or faith-based group to extend forgiveness too quickly. For many of the women who were affected, the first act of betrayal by their male partner followed a second act of betrayal by God, their religious community, clergy, or other spiritual leaders. This ultimately resulted in a BT-linked spiritual crisis.”
“In the aftermath of experiencing BT, the female participants seeking support appeared to be deprived of the necessary accountability, boundaries, and safety.”
Citation
Seyed Aghamiri, F., Luetz, J.M. & Hills, K. (2024). Why did God let this Happen? Assessing the Spiritual Impacts of Sexual Addiction on Intimate Female Partners: A Qualitative Investigation. Sexuality & Culture, 28, 2113–2142. https://doi.org/10.1007/s12119-024-10221-3
